You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
