Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
