Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
