I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
