We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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