Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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