we have pet lesbian snakes
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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