Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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