Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
