Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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