At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Randomize
