I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
