You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
