Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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