Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You have to summon your inner elephant
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
