So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
