We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least life still wants to fuck me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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