"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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