I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
