stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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