Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
