Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
