I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
