Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
