This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
