Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
