You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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