Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
