Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
