stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
