she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
