I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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