hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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