Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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