Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
