she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and she was petting her beer can
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
