morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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