two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
