why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
