I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
