i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
