Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
