So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
