So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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