Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
