Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
