Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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