Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
