it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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