Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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