her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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