So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
